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A very big surprise was waiting for me when I woke up to check my phone this morning. Writer T.L. Gray has nominated me for a Liebster Award. Wondering what that is, I did a Google search to find that it’s basically an acknowledgement from one blogger to another, an ‘I like your stuff’ kind of virtual pat on the back.

Three things that struck me.

  1. The first thing I do when I wake up is to reach for my phone to check for messages and what-nots. Typical behaviour for someone living in this age, but so atypical of someone who can live perfectly fine without her phone.
  2. T.L. Gray actually posted an article on the Liebster Award, so I didn’t need to google it. Well, I wasn’t wide awake yet, and was happy to receive a note from someone whose writings have always resonated with me. But I still felt a bit silly, which is okay since I believe I’m a generally silly and lost-in-the-clouds kind of girl. With random flashes of insight and moments of shrewdness. I’m also, apparently, a prideful kind of girl.
  3. A feeling of well-being and happiness in me, followed by an ‘Eeep!’ moment.

Let me explain point 3. above.

The exact words she left on my last blog post was, ‘I nominated you for a Liebster Award. Now get back to writing those blog posts.’ I was so pleased to be included in her list of nominees, so touched that she noticed that I haven’t been posting, and really happy to be pushed in a ‘pushy, and yet non-pushy’ kind of way. Sorry if I offend you, friend, but it feels like being praised and chastised gently by a teacher or mentor whom I like and respect a lot. Nice, but a little stressful.

Not to give you cheek or anything like that, but I have been thinking about getting back to writing. The problem is that I’ve been thinking about all these things in my head and not putting them on paper enough (which is a tendency of mine), and I really needed a push although I know that once I get started, it’ll be okay. Another problem is also that writing has always been a way for me to vent and to heal, and to work things out, so when I don’t have, you know, angsty or angry or just high feelings, I turn to other interests and pastimes. Not that I no longer have problems, but perhaps I have come to terms with them. DBS tells me that I have changed, that she senses an inner peace in me these days. It probably has to do with the fact that I’ve started reading the Bible almost every day, and I enjoy the time spent with God and all that. Lest that you think I’m going the full ‘holier-than-thou’ way, I’m not spending the whole day on Bible studies, just a little time each night before I go to bed.

So…thank you, sister…for the nomination, and thank you twice as much for the ‘push’. I wish I could do the same for you. I noticed that there was a longer-than-usual absence on your part too, and I wondered why that was. And when I read your previous posts like Your Girl and Broken Vessel, I wanted to write something to you, except I had no idea what to say despite mulling over it at random times over a few days. If I could wish for a superpower, I would love to be able to always say the right things at the right time. Some people just have a knack for that, and I envy them so much. I’m exceedingly bad at this…at offering comfort with words, even though I love words.

As for the award, well…there are rules! That’s a bad word if I ever heard one, unless they’re my own. I foresee my keyboard will suffer from the banging it’ll have to endure later.