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I see dead people.

Yes, you read that correctly. I see dead people. Everyday. In the bus, on the streets, everywhere.

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about the paranormal stuff that some people pooh-pooh about, while others adopt the attitude that it’s better to bring a crystal vial of divine water wherever they go. Don’t ask me where I stand. Ask the ‘brothers and sisters’. Hah, I’m so fierce that even they know to stay away from me. *Beams* Uriel has no choice though. He has to stay with me because I was assigned to him. ‘Tough luck!’ I always tell him.

Coming back to my point, I’m referring to the faces that stare back at me in the bus, and on the streets, etc., everyday. Lifeless, empty, blank. Well, you know what I mean. Not happy with work, not happy with their other half or third (well, you have to take into account adultery and all that!), not happy with their family, not happy with life! Again, you know what I mean.

Granted, not everyone is like that. Mainly, it’s the little ones who have shining, bright, happy faces. Our future, so I care even though they are not my own.

For adults, we can only hope for the momentary lapse in emptiness reflected on the faces. And there are times when this happens, oh yes there are indeed! There’s the lady who, on a rainy day, offered to shelter me with her umbrella while we were waiting to cross the road at a junction. There’s also the two aunties who asked me for directions, and I waved at them upon boarding the bus (DIRECTIONS! For once, I know…so must record this big accomplishment here lah). There’s also the young man who gave up his seat to an old man in the bus (upon catching my gaze that practically insisted that he does so, but hey, how many people actually take the hint nowadays?). Total strangers, but momentary connection.

…there’s good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.

Sam the faithful friend told Frodo, the hobbit and ring-bearer in ‘The Lord of the Rings’.

This is just a personal belief, but no matter what I do, I just hope that it contributes in making the world a better place. To put it simplistically, it’s all linked, friends. We’re all linked. Politics, economy, education, environment (pollution-relation stuff), individual to individual, the bigger environment (referring to our surroundings, culture, social aspects of the society we live in, etc.) to individual, environment to another environment. Again, my personal belief. One that inevitably makes some people think I’m too serious…

Objection, Your Honour!

I do like to have a laugh now and then. The other day, my manager from overseas said that the office is always filled with laughter when this particular colleague and I start talking to each other.

I’m very serious towards things I care about though. Maybe that scares people…

Counsellor, the Court has no idea whether you are prosecuting or defending your client!

Doesn’t matter, I guess. I rest my case.

Coming back to the linkages issue, DBS always say that my view is too macro, which is not a bad thing in and of itself, but not appropriate to see things from such a wide view all the time. Sometimes, the other party gets lost in translation, or the other party may not have the time at the moment, etc. I know, I know. Sigh…

Wow, seems like I’ve digressed quite a bit, but actually, they’re all related.

Anyway, regarding the momentary-lapse-in-emptiness argument I was making a few paragraphs back, those are little things, you say? They don’t make up for all the injustices and unfairness in life. They don’t relieve all the hurts and despair that one suffers over time. They don’t wash away tears and disappointments in a snap of the finger. They really don’t? Perhaps they do, I think. Not immediately though.

It depends on how you choose to look at life, really. Friends, we have a choice here. We can’t choose what life decides to serve us, but we can make decisions on how we want to look at things. Easy to say, right? We all know pain, to a certain extent, and I don’t want to say who suffered more or less, etc. But I chose to be a survivor. I chose to make something out of my pain. And most importantly, I chose to believe.

In humanity. In tomorrow.

So my rainbow shines, as brightly as ever. I’ll put it away for now, and take it out to polish another day.

Today, after all, needs to be lived in.

失ったのではなく、忘れただけです。日常のいろいろな出来事に流されて、多少消極的になった私であります。でも、大切なもの/理念を忘れないようにしておきたいため、上記を書きました。知恵兼純粋さ/何かを信じる力、両方も忘れないように、生かせるようになればいいですね。