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Melancholy night, but I think it’s probably just me. Made a bad mistake at work, but I think I managed to salvage it. I have been kicking myself mentally since last afternoon…but oh well, using my own words to Pet, ‘Don’t be too hard on yourself’. But still…*MOPE*

What’s with the title? ‘Super’ so does not describe a bad boo-boo at work, right? And nope, I’m not using irony here. It’s what I’m known to some people out there. ‘Super L***’. In my last year in university, the project group that I was in? My group mates called me ‘Super L***’. Why? Well…

Mate: Hey, have you thought about what you’re going to do for your individual project?

Me: Well, yes. I have a direction I want to take. Read up a bit on it, and I’m going to the library later to borrow some books.

Mate: That’s fast…

A week or two before submission deadline.

Mate: Gosh, I haven’t started on my paper, and I still have no idea what to write. Any progress on your side

Me: I kinda finished it.

Mate: *Stunned silence*

A few incidents of that kind, and ‘Super L***’ stuck. I’m actually a very last-minute person; somehow, when it comes to thinking and writing, I’m seldom at a loss. I often just need to get into the momentum. But I became more efficient in my Honours year. Why? Because my dad went for a bypass, and I was there in the hospital everyday that he was. I still remember walking to NUH from whichever faculty I happened to be in; hated taking the shuttle bus. Always crowded, no proper handholds for the vertically challenged like moi, and full of loud, stinky men from a particular country.

Dさんcalled me ‘Super L***’ on one occasion too, and it brought back a lot of memories…

Mewmew, thanks for saying what you did about ‘Super L***’ (I wonder whether you remember though). But sometimes, it’s not possible to stop being super. I often think,

因为男人不中用,所以女人必须自强。但就算男人有用,女人也应当自强。因为你身边的男人可能有一天会变得不中用。

Yes, I have very good guy friends. But…with no intention of insulting any of these good guy friends, a lot of the women I know are so much stronger, so much more resilient, so much more responsible than the men I know. And so, I find myself with respect for these women, and…contempt for a lot of men, I admit. I also admit that I feel like choking the life out of those women who, through their actions or non-actions, maintain this status quo.

Nobody is perfect, I know. しかし、自分の行動について責任を背負うことは、男と呼ばれる基本中の基本です。And that is why I am so not a feminist, because only someone with very traditional views on gender roles could think like this.

Super? Yeah, I need to remember how to be super again.